First Few Days

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on July 24, 2015 at 11:56am

lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....

"I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"

Permalink Reply by Marvin on July 24, 2015 at 12:06pm

First 2 weeks are the hardest for you. It gets easier when you start getting a few calls. My son said it was a lot easier than he prepared for. He actually complained that he didn't get to exercise enough.

Permalink Reply by Chad Johnson on July 24, 2015 at 12:07pm

Rich - this will be my sons second day as well. Its getting a little easier, but not much. I can compose a few sentences at least now without welling up. Ha ha ha

Permalink Reply by Richard J. Ramirez on July 24, 2015 at 12:30pm

Rich, we (my wife and I) certainly appreciate your situation.  After two years at the University we were more than just a bit emotionally unprepared for the news our Son decided to enlist in the Navy.  The night before he left I was a bit of an emotional basket case.  That said I cannot put into words how our Son has matured and after almost two years into his commitment, how much his decision was right for him. 

A journal is a great idea and Navy Dads a wonderful resource; I did not discover Navy Dads until after basic training, Dah.  Know your Son is in our prayers and I wish his family all the best in the months and years ahead!

Rich Ramirez

Permalink Reply by Rich on July 24, 2015 at 12:38pm

Wow!!   Thanks to all of you for the replies and the great advice and information.  I really appreciate it!!  I try to be the stoic one in the family, but I guess it's okay not to be once in a while.   I will treat these feelings as normal and keep writing and counting the days to PIR.  Thanks again to all of you!!

Rich

Permalink Reply by Jim on July 24, 2015 at 12:44pm

My son has been in since July 7th, we just got our first letters from him the other day.  From what I've read letters from home is what keeps these future sailors going.  So the best thing to do is write often and have friends and family write him also. 

Jim

Permalink Reply by Michael Weimer on July 27, 2015 at 6:16pm

 I could not agree with you more ...its harder than anticipated even with all the preparation.  My son is half way through boot camp now and I cant wait to see him on Aug 21 for graduation.  I was on pins and needles not being able to talk to him but continued to write him every day.  I finally got a phone call from him last week before I even received a letter. The second I heard his voice, I knew he was fine.  He appreciates all the letters and is doing well. I am very thankful that I found this site and the useful information- vital tool.  Good luck to you and your son. Thank you navydads for an excellent source of information and support.

Mike

Permalink Reply by Rich on July 28, 2015 at 8:32am

I'm feeling much better almost a week in.   This group has been great as well as the whole Navy Dad's site.  I know that all of our sons and daughters are working hard, sacrificing and becoming better people in the US Navy.  Just like everything else in life, the only thing that is constant is change.   Thanks again to all of you for your kind words and support.  It is much appreciated!!

Permalink Reply by Michael Hartman on August 10, 2015 at 10:20am

Rich said:

I'm feeling much better almost a week in.   This group has been great as well as the whole Navy Dad's site.  I know that all of our sons and daughters are working hard, sacrificing and becoming better people in the US Navy.  Just like everything else in life, the only thing that is constant is change.   Thanks again to all of you for your kind words and support.  It is much appreciated!!

Permalink Reply by Michael Hartman on August 10, 2015 at 10:22am

Hi Rich, I have a question for you, approx when did you get your sons address, alot has changed since I was in, we received the box today (6 days) after he left, just wondering about the address  Thanks and best of luck to your son!

Permalink Reply by Rich on August 10, 2015 at 10:49am

Michael,

The address came 2 days after the box did, so you should be getting it Wednesday or Thursday.  I got my first letter last Friday, 2 weeks and 3 days after he left.   Congratulations on your son serving in the Navy.  It was really hard for me for the first few days, but now I am just excited for him and can't wait for PIR.  When is your PIR??

Rich

Permalink Reply by Michael Hartman on August 11, 2015 at 3:04pm

Thanks Rich, we actually received the form ltr with his address a few hours after the box came, glad to see he didnt have to sit around and wait to form a company, sorry Division, showing my age lol! Thanks again for the reply!