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Permalink Reply by Tim Bowman on June 24, 2013 at 7:30am

Having been through Navy boot camp back in 1985, I understand a bit what your son is going through. It is a highly stressful environment and people react differently under those circumstances. The fact that your son chose to contact his girlfriend instead of his Mom should in no way be a reflection on his love for his parents.
I did the same thing and thought back about 30 minutes after the phone call that I should have called my Mom. Be assured that when pass and review comes, he will be delighted to see ou again.

Permalink Reply by Scott Himmelspach on June 24, 2013 at 7:33am

Thanks for the reassurance Tim!!

Permalink Reply by David F. on June 24, 2013 at 8:41am

You are not alone.  The problem is that, many times, the kids we send to Boot Camp are in the strange gap between being our kids and being adults completely on their own.  Officially, they are no longer ours, and that can take some getting used to.  When my first one went to Army Basic Training, he was serious with his girlfriend (now his wife of two years) and wrote her a lot and called her.  The way we handled it was to bite our tongues, be happy with whatever news we get, and stay in touch with the girlfriend so we could get whatever news she had.  And his Mom and I each wrote him letters letting him know we understood if he couldn't write us back and that we would be happy to hear from him whenever.  Regardless, we kept up a steady stream of letters to him.  And that actually ended up working out pretty well.

 

Now we have one in Navy Boot Camp and it's the same thing.  He has a very serious girlfriend and he writes her a bunch and she gets called.  But that will not stop us from sending him a steady stream of letters encouraging him and letting him know we understand if he can't write us as often as he likes, etc.

 

Face it - at this time in their lives, mom and dad simply cannot compete with a girlfriend.  Which is probably as it should be.  The circle of life and all that :-)

 

 

Permalink Reply by Scott Himmelspach on June 24, 2013 at 8:51am

Thanks David. All of what you said is exactly what seems to be going on. We do have a great relationship with the girlfriend so we will simply continue to write and voice our praise and respect that he deserves.

Permalink Reply by David F. on June 24, 2013 at 8:59am

Also, when you see him again it is likely he will have a higher degree of respect and appreciation for Mom and Dad.  They kind of take things for granted when they are growing up and living with you every day.  A couple of months of Boot Camp really helps them re-think things, including all of the sacrifices you have made for him while he was growing up.

 

Prepare to be amazed at the transformation :-D

Permalink Reply by Ken-55 on June 24, 2013 at 9:03am

Don,

It's kinda like you guys are in boot camp too!

I'm a single dad, raised my son alone since he was 3 y.o. I felt that helping him get through boot camp without adding any pressure to him was my job. I wrote him every day, the Monday letter had info/thoughts from the weekend. I started adding pictures from my computer in the middle of paragraphs and as days passed I figured out Picasa (a photo program) and made full page collages . . . I put in family pics from when he was young, sports pics of him, group pics of all his high school friends, nothing embarrassing. I was out of the country for a week+ while he was gone, I composed the letters, emailed them to a family member and they mailed them. I found out later how much that meant to him! Those letters and pics were shared in boot camp and I think it helped him make closer friends. I got one letter back. When he got phone calls later, I did hear from him and talk for a few minutes, then I encouraged him to call his mom or grandparents. At PIR the Navy gave me back a man with a beaming smile and awesome hug . . . it was so worth it!

I guess your job is to get your wife though it! ;-)

BTW: on his first deployment I got tons of calls and a decent amount of emails, now that he has a serious girlfriend I don't get so many. hehehe  Such is life!

Permalink Reply by Hello2u on June 24, 2013 at 11:21am

As a mom, that would hurt my feelings too! he's got the order mixed up, Thank God my son, got it right when he was at BC. Maybe, send him a letter asking if he write or call home to see how he's doing.

Permalink Reply by Brad on June 26, 2013 at 10:13am

My son was very poor about writing us. I found a questionnaire on line and sent it to him. This way, all he had to do was fill in the blanks, and that seemed to do the trick.