son and newwife being treated terrible by navy

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Permalink Reply by Margaret Clayton on February 21, 2017 at 5:36pm

A lot depends on your version of "terrible".  I have a few general thoughts and experiences I can share.

The first two years my sailor husband and I were married, we saw each other for a total of 28 days, we could not get co-location as we already had orders.  If that's the problem, it is often a problem for most dual military couples. They can only be sent to where the jobs are, if there are no available billets, then they cannot be moved close to each other just because they married. Their ratings must also be complimentary, sub sailors cannot go where aviators are stationed, for example. On top of that, first term sailors are not eligible for co-location.  Married sailors usually have one on sea duty and one on shore duty.  This facilitates family care plans if children are involved.  

After one year at a command, they can put in a form to request co-location.  They must both submit the form.  Even though first term sailors are not eligible, they can ask.

http://www.public.navy.mil/bupers-npc/reference/forms/NAVPERS/Docum...

If they are already at the same command, that is not allowed without previous special permission, so one of them may be transferred.  That's the rules.  

If it is pay, it does take some time and patience to get everything flowing smoothly.  

If they married without permission during A school, they may face a chewing out for not following procedure.

Dual Navy marriages are darn difficult, and there may be a few years of sacrifice before things work out.  All a couple can do is hang in there, learn the regs and procedures and do the best they can.

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Permalink Reply by NavyDads CoAdmin Jim Gramza on February 22, 2017 at 6:06am

Thanks for weighing in Margaret. I wouldn't even know where to start with this question. Hopefully things will smooth out for this couple.

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Permalink Reply by Margaret Clayton on February 22, 2017 at 7:30am

Dual military is a rough life.  Many young sailors do not know the regulations, they go off half truths and rumors, what they think they understand is not the reality at all.  These misunderstandings lead to a lot of heartache.  "You get to be stationed together" is not a lie, but it is not immediate or guaranteed!  There is a reason the Navy encourages specialized pre-marital counseling, and frowns on marriage during A school.  It is very difficult to start both a new marriage and a new Navy enlistment at the same time.  One or the other usually suffers.  

My husband and I met when we were both ET1, we did near identical jobs.  We were older, which is one reason we made it through.  Still, I chose to serve nine years instead of staying in to retirement, which was my goal.  We simply could not make co-location work, as there are fewer billets for senior enlisted in the same areas.  

This young couple has my every sympathy, but I really cannot blame the Navy.  It is not marriage friendly, which is a hard fact.  

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Permalink Reply by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on February 22, 2017 at 7:24pm

Please define "so badly" so you might get a better answer

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