Navy Dads

My Recruit shoved off on 20FEB2014, I got the box on 26FEB2014 and the form letter on 1MAR2014. THAT was a rough 9 days! My recruit is an older recruit (late 20's) been away from home and living on their own and it still did not make it any easier on me!

I know a majority of folks are doing what I was doing and pouring over websites for tiny nuggets of information so a good "guesstimate" of when they will hear anything from their recruit can be made. From what I gleaned off several sites, as well as, official Military sites, I was able to "predict" when I would see the box and the form letter. I missed by one day on each. I also was able to "guesstimate" when the PIR was and what the division might be. As I write this, obviously you can see I feel much better. I feel for each and every loved one out there going through this, or, about to for that matter! Hang on by your fingernails kicking and screaming if you have to, it does get better!

However, I do feel compelled to share an Epiphany that occurred to me during this mind numbing 9 days. One that affects all our military loved ones and families.

OPSEC vs. emotional turmoil.

I learned an enormous lesson, I had NO IDEA it was going to be this emotionally tough. Hell, I have been there and done that and it still blindsided me. That emotional turmoil is what drove me to scour the web for nuggets of information. The desire to be proactive and not sit idly by ultimately is what strung together enough nuggets to figure an operational status of sorts for my recruit. I am only one person with limited resources, imagine what a gaggle of somebodies with well funded resources could accomplish. 

So my epiphany is this, going forward in my recruits career, how do I balance the need to be informed my loved one is safe vs. the need for operational security(OPSEC) to keep all loved ones safe. I guess they are one in the same. I am NOT advocating anything, certainly not the complete reduction of information. I am simply offering that re-reading what you find and visualizing the safest way to repackage that information to disseminate it be part of the thought process.

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Replies to This Discussion

We allgo thru the same. It DOES get easier the further they go thru the process. As PIR approaches there willme more contact/calls. ONce they go to A school they will have as much contact as they did before with phones/ txt comptuers etc.  My sons in A school Now, Im on the Facebook page for that location ( pensacola) and so much information is around and people to share with.

The biggest part, however, is the ability to talk or txt with my son as often as I need to. 

Gen4....See the OPSEC link on the right of the main page for details....a good reminder!

the answer re: OPSEC.....if you have to ask "should or can I talk/post this?" the answer is probably NO.....and no, you don't need to completely informed rather trust in the old adage: no news is good news...

lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....

"I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"

Sooo Paul,
What your saying is that between the dozen letter head start BEFORE my recruits first Sunday away and the nose blowing, I'm right on track?
Good to know.
Thanks Todd, Tom, Paul

you are NOT alone bud....many of us have gone down this path (and SURVIVED !!!!!) and many more are doing so (and will survive!!!!).  If you need support this is the place to come!!!!

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