My Eldest Daughter Left for the RTC today.

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on April 20, 2016 at 10:00pm

lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....

"I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"

Permalink Reply by Buzz Ford on April 21, 2016 at 1:37am

Prepare yourself and be assured, this will be both the longest & shortest 8 weeks of "your" life. Imagine your daughter not being able to call or text.

My son graduated 4-15-16. To see your sailor matching in and at the conclusion running towards you. It is all worth it. You will treasure every letter and any call, even as brief as they are.

My son and I spoke almost daily before he left, it felt like isolation while he was gone. This sight helped tremendously . Best of luck.
Buzz

Permalink Reply by Leighton Lee on April 21, 2016 at 3:06am

Admin Paul: Thank you very much for the response, and quote to the prior post. Puts us all on the same ship so to speak. As the shared concern form a bond among the Member here, I can imagine what bonds will be forged by the rigor of RTC among the recruits. The shared experiences are very encouraging.

Leighton

NavyDads Admin (Paul) said:

lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....

"I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"

Permalink Reply by Leighton Lee on April 21, 2016 at 3:10am

Buzz: Thank you too for responding and sharing your experience. The reference to the "longest & shortest 8 weeks of your life" is so appropriate. Of course we are on the very beginnings of this trek, so we are hanging on to every bit of advice and encouragement we read.

I am already typing my letters. Of course no address, but nothing like being prepared. :-) We are very proud to be part of this group, and one day a member of the Navy Family.

Leighton

Buzz Ford said:

Prepare yourself and be assured, this will be both the longest & shortest 8 weeks of "your" life. Imagine your daughter not being able to call or text.

My son graduated 4-15-16. To see your sailor matching in and at the conclusion running towards you. It is all worth it. You will treasure every letter and any call, even as brief as they are.

My son and I spoke almost daily before he left, it felt like isolation while he was gone. This sight helped tremendously . Best of luck.
Buzz

Permalink Reply by Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom on April 21, 2016 at 10:45am

You are on the right track, Leighton. You are about to embark on what we call the "roller coaster". Your emotions are going to ebb & flow like the waves in Hawaii during the next 8 weeks. One of the things that I learned as my daughter served is that the WHOLE family serves as well. Use the support when you need it....and give it when the time comes to pass it forward! Share your experiences....that is what makes Navy Dads great!

Permalink Reply by Lien Templin Bell on April 21, 2016 at 10:26pm

Leighton, I too am feeling all the same things. My son left for RTC just a few days ago. Tuesday, April 19th I received his call that he made it there. It's the best, most proudest feeling but selfishly I'm sad for myself that he's growing up and on his way. I can't wait to hear his voice again and correspond. Hopefully I can make it to PIR. Best of luck to your daughter and your family, our Navy family we are now. (hugs)

Permalink Reply by Leighton Lee on April 21, 2016 at 11:47pm

Co-Admin Tom: Shared your message with our Family. We laughed and got sad because of how true your comments were. There is a lot of ebb and flow. Not sure why there is so much concern. I personally cannot put a finger on my emotions. And, absolutely yes, the WHOLE Family does serve.

thank you very much,

Leighton

Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom said:

You are on the right track, Leighton. You are about to embark on what we call the "roller coaster". Your emotions are going to ebb & flow like the waves in Hawaii during the next 8 weeks. One of the things that I learned as my daughter served is that the WHOLE family serves as well. Use the support when you need it....and give it when the time comes to pass it forward! Share your experiences....that is what makes Navy Dads great!

Permalink Reply by Leighton Lee on April 22, 2016 at 12:41am

Lien Templin Bell: You are rightfully proud. There are some who don't understand that. But to me, it is a high calling to serve your Country. Yes, the Services are not perfect, and do require a review. But the women and men who serve should be thanked and feel proud.

We wish the best for your Son and you.

thank you,

Leighton

Lien Templin Bell said:

Leighton, I too am feeling all the same things. My son left for RTC just a few days ago. Tuesday, April 19th I received his call that he made it there. It's the best, most proudest feeling but selfishly I'm sad for myself that he's growing up and on his way. I can't wait to hear his voice again and correspond. Hopefully I can make it to PIR. Best of luck to your daughter and your family, our Navy family we are now. (hugs)

Permalink Reply by Leighton Lee on April 22, 2016 at 12:45am

Update: just received her phone call from the RTC. I was so happy. She sounded serious and purposeful. She said the script, and told me that she may be calling in about 3 weeks. I was sad when she said that she "had to go." But the videos on this site really helped me understand.

Timing wise, she arrived at O'Hare 0900 and boarded the bus to RTC at 1130. Processing now begins. A whole new wave of concern. The ebb and flow mentioned above.

Best wishes to all of you.

Permalink Reply by Lien Templin Bell on April 22, 2016 at 10:38pm

Yes and although that call was hard we know what and why. I received 'the box' today. You should receive hers shortly too. They work fast. I am so in anticipation for that first correspondence but we're on our way there.

Permalink Reply by Leighton Lee on April 23, 2016 at 3:47am

+1 re receipt of first correspondence. Still typing my letter for mailing when I receive the appropriate address. :-)

Counting the P days. I believe they have a short break on Sundays. But I'm not sure how this works in the P day phase. Just trying to imagine what they are all going through. Too old to remember staying up for more than 24 hours.

Lien Templin Bell said:

Yes and although that call was hard we know what and why. I received 'the box' today. You should receive hers shortly too. They work fast. I am so in anticipation for that first correspondence but we're on our way there.