No News is good news....

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Richard J. Ramirez on August 23, 2014 at 1:37pm

Hi Jeff,

Our son finished Basic back in January, and the thoughtful remarks in your posting reflect many of the thoughts we had during his time at Great Lakes.  For us, Stephen surprised us after two years at the University to announce he'd decided he would volunteer/enlist in the Navy.  Looking back my biggest regret is we I did not discover Navy Dads/Moms until AFTER PIR.  Regardless, Navy Dads is a great resource!  Know we will keep your Recruit in our thoughts and prayers today and beyond.  Reach out when the spirit moves and know, just like a kidney-stone, this too shall pass  B-)

Rich

Permalink Reply by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on August 23, 2014 at 1:44pm

lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....

    "I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"

Permalink Reply by Julie byrne on August 23, 2014 at 2:28pm

Jeff, it has been three years since my Seabee was in BC but your heartfelt experience brought it all back to me. I teared up and felt every word that you so proudly wrote about Josh. Thank you for sharing. Best of luck on you and your SR. The best is yet to come!

Permalink Reply by Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom on August 23, 2014 at 6:23pm

Jeff.....you have hit the nail on the head! Over the last few years, I have learned that despite any and all experiences, we each go through the same process. Being cut off from our children is the hardest thing that any parent can endure. Trust me that you will shed tears when those first letters arrive.....nothing like the tears that you will shed upon the day of P.I.R. The pride that you felt 30 years ago is no match for the emotions that you will feel on that day! I wish you, your family, and Josh the best of luck as things progress. Welcome to Navy Dads....use it anytime you need it! Questions or support are always here.....

Permalink Reply by Ken-55 on August 23, 2014 at 7:44pm

Great post and also great responses . . . brought back lots of memories!

Write lots of letters, he will appreciate it. I also pasted photos into the letters from his early years right up through high school just to bring a smile to his face. About halfway through bootcamp I got the idea to create photo collages in Picasa and include them in the letters . . . he loved them and shared them with his division. I think it helped him make friends.

Permalink Reply by David Oelker on August 24, 2014 at 4:06pm

Jeff,

Our daughter shipped on the same day as your son. A lot of the same feelings are going through my head that you posted. Not that you thought any differently, but here is at least one dad that is going through this with you. It's great to hear from those who have gone before us, but I have to tell you that it is also great to hear from someone who is going through it at the same time.

We didn't go to MEPS with her to see her take her final oath, but she was taken by bus from Columus, OH to Great Lakes so we were able to communicate with her throughout the trip through text messages. This was a real blessing because I got to say some more to her that I didn't think of the morning she left.

But I know what you mean when you say "no news is good news". I just keep telling myself that she is exactly where she needs to be, doing exactly what she needs to be doing. I am us that the same applies to your son.

David

Permalink Reply by Jeff Mohler on August 24, 2014 at 5:24pm

Dave,

I imagine that your daughter will be in the same ship as Josh perhaps the same Div. As soon as his mom get the letter with his Div. assignment, I'll let you know. Travel plans are tentative to drive up from Fl. arriving on Fr. Morning but at this point we are still debating. 

Permalink Reply by Julie byrne on August 24, 2014 at 6:16pm

If you can arrive the day before on Thurs it would make less stressful. There is an early morning artival and security to get through then rush to get goid seats etc. the day will go so fast and you will have your brand new Sailor all day until curfew (6:30 pm as i recall). Then you wait for the call thst they have been droped off at the airport to wait for their flights to A school. You can give your Sailor their phones laptops personal glasses and even colored underwear etc. you can stay at the gate until they board the plane. You can then breathe easier because your communication will be much more normal etc. I rememver after PIR we all took a cab back to our hotel and talked and had his favorite homemade cookies. We then went to the Gurney mall and had a nice meal. Some families go to the Navy Pier but we decided to stay local. I only got one phone call between the " I am here" and "I am a Sailor" call. Watch for a call from the GL area code. They can have stamps and a calling card with them. I wrote lots of letters. Make sure that your mail does not stand out or they get teased. The best is yet to come everyone......

Permalink Reply by Julie byrne on August 24, 2014 at 6:21pm

Also there is a great book on Amazon called "honor,courage and commitment" by J. Leahy that chronicles SR's going through BC. You can also get loads of info on Navy for Moms BC and PIR groups too.

Permalink Reply by Julie byrne on August 24, 2014 at 6:22pm

I kept a notebook by the computer to keep notes on what i learned from other people. It helped to know about the graduation photos parking permits for PIR etc.