Off-base housing for "A" school sailors w/ girlfriends?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by ctyankee on January 24, 2011 at 7:16pm

Mark,

 

  If you want, please show him this post, I obviously wrote this for his benefit, not yours. :^)

 

  If your son wants "out" then he should speak to a Navy counselor.  Getting dropped because he fails his courses as a bad life strategy.  If he thinks he can handle a GF and school, then I'd say he's either superman or delusional. 

 

  As we all know, he won't be happy, she won't be happy, and, his recruiter won't be happy (although that's hardly an important factor).  We also know that experience comes from mistakes, however getting kicked out doesn't create a useful life lesson, but it does look bad on a resume.  I'm an employer, I'd take a guy that was recovering from any number of physical conditions before I'd hire a guy who flunked out of school or the military.

 

  With unemployment at current levels, you should gently remind him he has a job, but it's only guaranteed for as long as he passes exams & quals.  Girlfriends are a *huge* distraction from exams & quals.

 

Good luck!

Permalink Reply by John W Parker on January 24, 2011 at 9:11pm

I would say it isn't for everyone. My son got married when he graduated from BESS. He, so far has passed ATT and Tecno (sp) with high grades, he was ACU leader while waiting for "A" school which he started today. Yes he lives off base about 1.5 miles away. He told his wife that the Navy came first before they got married, she agreed and so far (so far) everything is golden. Military wives have to be strong as well, after all their sailors will be going to sea for sometimes long periods of time in the future. They have to start somewhere, sometime. If they both understand that the Navy comes first and practice it, it can work. I just wouldn't make it sound like a good idea and discourage it until it happens. With that said, she was living about 60 miles away until after Christmas, then they got a place close by.

Permalink Reply by Jack Pouchet on January 29, 2011 at 3:21pm

WOW - let me go on record to say that a girlfriend anywhere is already enough distraction. Bringing said girlfriend anywhere near BESS will only make it worse! 

 

Tell your sailor to suck-it-up for a few months and get with the BESS program! The girlfriend won't be coming along on the cruises. 

 

My son's girlfriend does plan to go visit him at Groton for a weekend but not until he is out of BESS and mid-way through A-school. Thank goodness she is going into nursing school soon and won't be able to fly/drive around the country until she graduates. By then he should be an E4 and if they do get married life is a lot easier.

 

Jack