38 Seconds

 Well gentlemen once again please endure my mental purging....

 As I sat here tonight the phone rang and I as have many of us recognized the area code and immediately answered. The voice on the other end of the line sounded so familiar that it was almost confusing, see I knew who it was before I even picked up the phone but when I heard him speak and actually say " you know who this is right?" I was almost embarrassed sitting here alone because while it was the same voice I have been hearing for almost 19 years it was different somehow. Dad I failed my PFE to long on the run is what he said and as of now I have no graduation date. My heart just sank I knew why he was different now.

        As I ask the particulars he tried to fill me in and then this young man said something that chilled me he said " I am sorry I let you down again" see I don't ever recall saying that sentence to him just the opposite every time we talked even before this monumental undertaking I have always told my children that I was proud of them for being them, not what they do or don't do for that matter. He then continued to inform me stating that his  run was to slow by 38 sec the blink of an eye to most but a lifetime to others. He also said if he can get it done before his division goes to battle stations he will be with them if not who knows.

      Here is a young man that during all of this got strep throat and an ear infection confining him to his rack for two days and the way they discovered he was sick was by his inability to stand up straight during inspection, which he subsequently failed by the way. He said during that call that he might be recycled but he had managed to get back on pace and was looking good just over a week from PIR, how disheartening this has to be, I posted in one of my earlier vents about a phrase that has become our mantra "You Got This" and as I listened to him disappointed in himself feeling as if he had just let down the world I refreshed him I said "J you remember how all along I have said You Got This and I told you that if there was a situation that you didn't think you can do you will hear my voice saying You Got This well son this is that test, that thing that when you feel like it’s over that 38 sec is just too long, just behind your ear you will hear me say J You got this boy, you got this.

       I wish I could complete this tale of woe and despair but unfortunately I cannot, see I did what I was supposed to do I listened and reassured him that this is entirely overcome able that he has it within himself to do this, and no matter what I am still Proud to say that I am the father of Jarad ______ when I pressed this he sounded somewhat lightened like he almost believed me even if only for that one second. He then had to go the 2 minutes allotted was about to expire so we said our I Love You's and just before we hung up I said to him ........ J son I am here no matter what and remember You got this boy you got this. Well thanks for letting me vent and keep your fingers crossed he finds 40 seconds as soon as possible cause he really needs it for himself more than anything