Marriage in the Navy

Comment

Comment by CHARLES R. STRAUSS on April 16, 2010 at 11:48pm

HELLO AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE SUPPORT THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME. THINGS THESE DAYS ARE MUCH WORSE NOW WITH MY SON. THE PERSON THAT MYSON MARRIED WHEN HE WAS TRANSFERED TO VIRGINIA REALLY SCREWED MY SON OVER. IF ANYONE IS GOING THROUGH THIS AND NEEDS MY HELP WHETHER TO TALK TO YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER I WOULD BE MORE THEN WILLING TO SHARE MY SONS SAGA AND THE DESTRUCTION THAT THIS HAS CAUSED MY SON.

Comment by Kayla on January 24, 2010 at 3:29am

Wow, sounds like she knew what she doing and took advantage of your son. I would definitely try taking advantage of the free legal advice. As a young woman who has had my own share of messy situations in the past, I would say just support your son the best way you can emotionally while he is going through this, no matter how much you talk. I've had to learn from mistakes many times, and I always hated hearing "I told you so" but in the end I was a better and stronger person. Maybe instead of divorce he can try to get an annulment, but being new to Navy stuff I don't know if they have that option. There's not much I can really do for advice, but I hope that everything gets resolved for you. Your son is lucky to have a father like you who cares.

Comment by CHARLES R. STRAUSS on January 13, 2010 at 8:55am

Thank you my firned that have commented on the issue of marriage and the Navy. Well, he did get married and yes the pay is quite a bit higher. From what i hear higher housing allowances, medical coverage for the new spouse and other additional funds. Well, this road to marriage has been nothing but rocky to almost bringing my son and I to not even communicate. Not that the communication was great in the first place. We would always call and write him and we would either get a call back weeks later or maybe a letter 1-2 months later. Now he got moved to another Naval base and the problems between him and his now wife have only gotten worse. They have only been married for 3 months and he has brought up divorce 4 times already. I contacted a chaplan on his new base to get intouch with him but like I said, him and I dont talk much so I dont know what is going on because the chaplan cant talk to me about it with this privacy act. I know where this marriage is going and it is going down fast. I then found out that if he gets a divorce she gets 50% of his pay no ifs ands of buts!!! I think that there should be a law/rule that if you are in the armed forces and you arer not married when you joined, you can not marry until you leave active service. These kids dont understand that when they joined any of the armed forces that they did get married, they are married to there job.

Comment by Chief West on January 12, 2010 at 9:48pm

Charles,
I would ask your son how is relationship with his "chief" is. If it is sound and solid, he/she will be able to help him navigate through this mess, and maybe even get the management company to bend. Sometimes an experienced "adult" makes the difference - it has in my case as I have dealt with my sailors. There is the JAG corps that can advice him as to what legally he can or cannot do as well and the advice is - FREE!

Chief

Comment by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on January 1, 2010 at 8:30am

there is a rash of this issue in the Navy....many get married (a mutual arrangment) to get the addtional pay and housing...then get divorced (mutual arrangment). No advice....I don't have any experience in this, but I know ther are seveal Navy Dads that have gone through this over the past year....perhaps someone can help Charles with some advice.........