My sons first deploment in afgh.hes a MARINE

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Permalink Reply by Mr. Sailorette on October 24, 2011 at 12:34pm

That must be tough trying to be a model to your daughters in this whole situation. Im a little curious about the situation with his mom but that's besides the point.

I think the real question is who's uniform would you feel more comfortable with your boy wearing over there? US is the dominant military power and our marines are courageous enough to succeed in the task at hand. If the US didn't think his contribution would help his fellow brothers in the marines they never would have let him go.

Best wishes, and keep the faith.

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Permalink Reply by stephen s stein,my son is a mari on October 24, 2011 at 1:12pm

IM NOT QUESTIONING MY SONS ABILITY,ITS MY ABILITY 2 DEAL WITH THIS EVERY DAY,EVERY HOUR,IM REALLY,WELL CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM,GRIEVING,CRYING,DEPRESSION,IM A STRONG SOB WHEN IT COMES 2 MY KIDS,BUT THIS IS ALOT,I MEAN ALOT,I DONT KNOW,JUST TALKING ABOUT IT IS GOOD.BUT IM SEEKING MEDICAL HELP 2.THATS HOW BAD IM GETTING.IVE ALREADY HAVE A HEART CONDITION,SO I PRAY 4 EACH 2 COME,THANKS,OORAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Permalink Reply by Mr. Sailorette on October 24, 2011 at 1:54pm

I apologize for misunderstanding your delima. I thought the concern was with your son being away perhaps it is but is seems more complex than that from your response.

 

You are the parent. You are the rock in your childrens lives. Youve done fine so far, perhaps fate (god) now is challenging you to develop your parenting skills even further.

 

If youve read my posts you would know they glow with frustration and many internal struggles. Writing about it helps. People here WILL say mean things my advice is to not respond to those posts. Its tough to decern advice through personal attacks. And if thats the advice some people want to give you dont want their advice any way.

 

When you write these posts think about what you want from them. Mine are mostly free writing and I am putting my feelings out in public so those that have been through it can provide insight and context. If you are writing a question only you can answer you must understand what everyone else is giving is just opinions. And half of the people on this planet cant even follow their own advice.

 

Your responsibility is to your childrens lives, to provide for their needs (this includes emotional). Your also a role model. Children learn to deal with stress by watching how their parents deal with it. By now youo are aware there are constructive outlets and not so constructive out lets.

 

If its an emergency medication is a useful tool. My opinion is its a last resort. Be aware with medication you will become emotionally numb toward things that are important to you. In life saving circumstances this is the right thing to do, but the problems will be there regardless. Pills or not counseling will be required if you want inner peace and emotional stability.

 

Im glad you came here and are sharing your thoughts. This site is an invaluable resource for those of us with loved ones that are protecting their families way of life back home. And remember if anyone online attacks your feelings personally do not respond. Most of us want to help you find inner peace.

 

Do you have hobbies? Id like to recommend the gym. Im so bent right now Im considering boxing, even though Ive never done it. I play hockey which helps, and lifting has been a good relief for me in the past. Boxing sounds like a great way to burn off all that extra energy for now though.

 

Best wishes

JA

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Permalink Reply by Mr. Sailorette on October 24, 2011 at 4:29pm

Kahlil Gibran is my guru. If it were me, I would print this and put it on the refrigerator for a while.

 

On Joy and Sorrow
 Kahlil Gibran

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. 

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

 

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Permalink Reply by stephen s stein,my son is a mari on October 24, 2011 at 4:36pm

stephen s stein,my son is a mari said:

IM NOT QUESTIONING MY SONS ABILITY,ITS MY ABILITY 2 DEAL WITH THIS EVERY DAY,EVERY HOUR,IM REALLY,WELL CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM,GRIEVING,CRYING,DEPRESSION,IM A STRONG SOB WHEN IT COMES 2 MY KIDS,BUT THIS IS ALOT,I MEAN ALOT,I DONT KNOW,JUST TALKING ABOUT IT IS GOOD.BUT IM SEEKING MEDICAL HELP 2.THATS HOW BAD IM GETTING.IVE ALREADY HAVE A HEART CONDITION,SO I PRAY 4 EACH 2 COME,THANKS,OORAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Permalink Reply by Jim Beck on December 27, 2011 at 4:34pm

Stay strong for your girls, stay strong for your son. I also had the holiday blues missing my son, alergies and all. It is what it is, we have to let them go into the world and do their own thing.

 

Good luck.

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Permalink Reply by Loy E. on December 28, 2011 at 12:52am

I can't say I know how you feel, I don't have any kids in the Military just a nephew who is in boot camp. I can't tell you as a Veteran what it feels like being deployed under difficult circumstances. I went too Beirut in 1982 and 83 with the Multinational Peacekeeping Force. I knew my parents were worried about me, but me knowing they were going on with life, as they should, made it easier for me. Me not worrying about them kept me strong. If at all possible stay positive, when you have contact with him. I will be praying for him and your family.

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