So what now?

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Permalink Reply by Brad on July 21, 2015 at 3:29pm

My guess is, what's going through your girlfriends head is,....I need to pass whatever test I have still failed. 

This is not a totally uncommon event. She may not have passed the mile and a half run. She may not have passed her swimming test. It could be several things. 

I can understand her parents being upset and it does suck. There's a chance she passes the next day and then is sent to A School, and her parents would be able to see her off at the airport. This is a tough situation, but this isn't girl scout camp, it's the U.S. Navy and they have standards that every sailor must pass. 

I'd be very surprised if the Marines allowed an unqualified grad to march with his division, but don't know for sure.

Hang tight, once she finishes up, she will have more information to share. 

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Permalink Reply by Cody Backes on July 21, 2015 at 11:11pm

I got a question. Well 2 how many times do they get for the test. What happens if she doesn't pass it this week? Does it drag on till the next week till she passed its just going to put her more behined and she won't be able to have more freedom. All I know is she is very crushed because this was very very big for her. It's still blowing me away. I know it may sounds kinda selfish but I'm just really worried about her, and I'm also worried about what parents. I just can't stop thinking about it. Sorry it was more than 2 just never seen this happen that's all, just wanting some answers that no one wants to help me and her mom on.

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Permalink Reply by Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom on July 22, 2015 at 11:14am

Cody....we are helping you! You have to accept that there is nothing you can do but provide encouragement. She is part of the Navy Team and they will do everything in their power to get her through this. It is basically in her hands.....She will succeed. Understand that there are requirements for all Sailors. Lives may depend upon these skills in the future. This is NOT uncommon....Hang in there, Bud!

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Permalink Reply by Cody Backes on July 22, 2015 at 12:42pm

im hanging in there, it just been really hard because this was suppose to be a week of happy and good for all of us, Her, her parents and me. I had re scheduled a surgery because when i found out the after effects i wanted to watch her graduation on the live feed, and talk to her after. All night monday i kept waking up every hour i just felt like something was wrong. I know about the FIT program what doesnt get me was that in her letter she said she was struggling on the fitness, she pasted everything and i wanna say the run but she was working on it, but it was push ups that was getting her. So i know if she was having the problems the RDCs would see it and know it before she would and wouldnt let it slide unless what she has been telling me alot is that they have been complete jerks (i know strict i know all that, it bootcamp) but if they knew wouldnt she be put in the fit program like a few weeks ago? Thats what doesnt make sense to me. Or maybe theres more and they could not be telling her because the phone call to her mom was less than 5 minutes at like 8 our time, i think it happened after battle station. It just hasnt been making sense because it just feels like now because of it they are punishing her, and her mom talked with someone at the base to get some light of course they couldnt tell her anything, it is the government, and they flat out told her once they take it away from her that it, even if she does pass the test she gets nothing. i dont know maybe im just blowing off steam. Im just worried about her, shes not in the state of mind, she told me in one of her letters, im just scared that she has begin to think the worse when there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know theres nothing i can do now but just wait for a call. Im just scared that she wont pass because the stress is big sead in her head, and they will send her home after her hard work.......... which is my question would they do that?

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Permalink Reply by Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom on July 22, 2015 at 2:01pm

The last thing they want for her is failure. Firstly....nothing has been taken away by the Navy. It has to be earned by her. There is NO wiggle room. She will be worked with and encouraged by the others who find themselves in the same position! She is not alone in this...trust me! She is given every opportunity to complete her tests during the normal course of Basic. She wouldn't have been placed in FIT earlier on. That isn't the way it works. It will take as long as it takes, but I'm sure she will get through this.....Be there for her and cheer her on!

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Permalink Reply by Cody Backes on July 22, 2015 at 8:20pm

I'm just affaird this is just going to set her back in her schooling. I haven't stopped supporting her and I will not. I know how her mind could flip very fast. I guess I'm scared that she may be there an extra 2 weeks and not be able to write to her.

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Permalink Reply by Cody Backes on July 24, 2015 at 8:57pm

What ever happened to "don't leave a man behind"? To me I feel her RDCs have failed that's just me other can say other, but what happened to being a team that's the biggest thing they push, I know they are doing there job, but how is it leading when someone is left behind, in the field in any line of work and you see some struggling and you know they are what do you do? Do you just watch them fail or do you help them? Does anyone see where I'm going on this?

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Permalink Reply by Cody Backes on July 24, 2015 at 9:00pm

I watch today's graduation knowing she wasn't there, and I saw the gaps and i know where there should of been another recuit, so I Know she isn't the only one but back to my thought on being a team

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Permalink Reply by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on July 24, 2015 at 9:09pm

NavyDads doesn't sugar-coat things- the RDCs help the recruits but in the end, the recruit has to perform.  People die in the Navy (research the USS Cole and the USS Samuel B Roberts for instance)- those sailors better perform when the crap hits the fan- if they don't meet the minimum requirements they have no business being in the fleet and potentially endangering their shipmates and their ship.

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Permalink Reply by Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom on July 24, 2015 at 11:19pm

Cody....It is a Team effort. However, the 8 weeks are the limit. After that, the new Sailors must move on into the Fleet. It would be unfair to them to be held back. Those that haven't passed their testing now present a potential danger to those that have. As I told you before.....lives are at stake here. These can be extremely dangerous jobs in the course of deployments. That is why the FIT program exists....in order to aid those that need the extra time and training.....This is not a case where everyone gets a trophy for participating. She will put in the extra time and effort and will find her way...you will see. Again...just be as supportive as you can for her. She will be grateful when she gets through this!

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Permalink Reply by Cody Backes on July 27, 2015 at 12:33am

So I got to talk to her on Saturday during the day, hour long talk she was in recruit heaven as what they call it. You guys would more than I do all she told me was she could do what every she wanted to do this weekend, so had a hour long call with her could of been longer but she would of be late for chow, you know got to eat, it was her favorite Taco Bell, I know that went through her system very very fast :). Alright to the good news she's has passed everything she goes for battlestations on Monday night and gets her orders on Wednesday or Thursday, she going to call early Tuesday morning, so got something to look forward to. Her spirts are high and happy, can't tell you how proud I am of her. She told me she failed by 15 seconds which to her didn't make sense because her and another recruit started at the same time and he came in after her but passed, she was a wreak that day but passed it the second time but choose to wait on battlestations why because she was tired and they gave her the choice which in the end was a very good thing, gave her time to rest. One of her RDCs that's pushed her and worked her hard that she came close to you know for Encouragement and support came and brought her a slip for something her mom bought her on base and they were talking to each other as normal people and not as a recruit but you would say like a sailor as she put. At the end he said he was very proud of her and gave her stuff, and while she was in shock of hearing that a different RDC from the fit program over heard it and told her that it was a very big thing if an RDC said that to a recuit and it was big deal and he knew she proved her self. Sooooo she wants to get out of there like anyone else would, but I heard the Tori (her nickname) that I know and love back In her voice. I know I overreacted and was impatient but I'm someone that wants answers you know what I mean, thanks guys for being supportive. This past week believe it or this week I felt like I grew a better relationship with her parents especially her mom. When ever she found out something I was the first one to be called, if something was happening with Tori I was called, and if I found out something I told her mom, and I live by a saying I always say "everything happens for a reason" I believe this week was that big part was that Tori knew she could pass and she pushed harder and I grew closer to her parents. So I can't wait to see what's next in line. Once again guys thanks for the support I know I'm kinda hard headed

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Permalink Reply by Cody Backes on July 27, 2015 at 8:28am

Her mom is overnighting her stuff tonight which is going to be really awesome I'll be able to talk to her everyday again can't wait. Yup A school than she'll be home for 10 days and she's coming home for Christmas than little after that thinking after I file my taxes I'll going to fly out there and spend some time, and again when she goes to New York

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