Looking for friends who have sons or daughters in div 272 she went in on June 13th

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Permalink Reply by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on June 15, 2016 at 5:38pm

lest you think you are alone, this was posted by a dad to another member dealing with separation anxiety....

"I know you have seen some encouraging comments from other members, but I wanted to weigh in here too. On 28 January, a month after completing college, my son was sworn in to the Navy DEP. It was a couple of days after that when it hit me....after 23 years of a daily relationship with him everything was about to change! I knew joining the Navy was going to be the absolute best thing for him. But in spite of that, I became very depressed. I had no idea what I was doing but googled Navy support groups. I found this site. I remember posting my first comments.....reluctantly because I thought others would think of me as less of a man.....how depressed I was already at the thought of my son leaving and he was not leaving for boot until 1 May. Well the responses were surprising! All the admins and a number of other members put me at ease when they responded that every dad on this site, if they are honest with themselves, experienced the same thing. I also followed the great advice from the admins to read as much as possible on this site. All of this really helped! But then came the week before he left. I became very upset and just wasn't sure how I was going to cope. It really took some work to get it under control. Then the day came to put him on that plane to Great Lakes. As the tears flowed, it was my son in a bit of a role reversal that said, "dad, it's going to be just fine." Well from that point everything happened just as it was described by the admins and other members on this site from receiving the "kid in a box" to the form letter to the first phone call. The best advice I received after his departure was to write often. I didn't really think my son would care that much because my son has always been very independent and not the "home sick" type. But I found out two things in writing the letters: he loved them and encouraged it and they were very therapeutic for me! In the 7 weeks after I received his address I wrote 16 letters. All typed, no spacing, and not one under 4 pages long! I would never have imagined being able to come up with that much to write about....but you will be surprised. It truly helped the time move along as well. Then believe it or not, PIR was upon us. My son graduated on 28 June. The only thing I can say about PIR is that as it relates to my son, it was the second greatest day of my life......second ONLY to witnessing his birth! When you see your sailor march into that hall and you realize he/she is now a part of something greater than themselves, it is an indescribable feeling of pride. A feeling that washes away all the tears and angst of the previous 8 1/2 weeks of separation. Now as I look back, I am amazed how time has passed so quickly! As of today my son has been out of boot camp almost as long as he was in it. He is in Pensacola attending IT A school. This is totally different from boot camp. It resembles being away to college as you can communicate freely (voice, text, e-mail) with the exception of when they are in class. So to wrap this up, as others have said, hang in there! You too before you know it will be in the same shoes as many of us....looking back wondering where the time went and posting comments to help parents going through that which you have endured. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this site is to help you through it.....from really good information to Navy FAMILY who are there for moral support. God Bless you and your son for his service to our great country!"

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Permalink Reply by JoDean on June 15, 2016 at 6:20pm

Thank you so very much I will pass this on to my oldest girl as well. I think this site is going to be very helpful.

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Permalink Reply by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on June 15, 2016 at 6:27pm

Family learns as much as recruits do at Boot Camp.  It's a long journey with highs and lows....get ready for the ride! 

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Permalink Reply by JoDean on June 17, 2016 at 9:45pm

Thank you all for the support but I just got a call today from my daughter saying she is n the separation program. I guess she had a bad panic attack. I was worried about that happening. Now I feel so bad for her and am just trying to find the right way to be supportive as I am sure she feels like she failed. She wanted this since she was a young child. How I feel is I look up to her she is still my Hero as she went out and tried. I have a very bad anxiety disorder and I have a hard time leaving my home so for her to at age 19 take such a big step for that I am proud.  Any advise on how to help her through this let down in her life and in herself will be helpful. 

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Permalink Reply by NavyDads Admin (Paul) on June 17, 2016 at 9:48pm

You said the answer "I look up to her she is still my Hero as she went out and tried" - now you have to tell her.......and keep telling her

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Permalink Reply by JoDean on June 19, 2016 at 1:17pm

Thank you so much for the support it is just disheartening as I was worried about this, I even had an hour long conversation with her recruiter in the beginning because she was already having anxiety before she even started just trying to finish college and all the the stuff done he wanted her to do.I explained to him that she gets very overwhelmed  when to much is thrown at her at once. She all so told him all her issues and he said to keep it quiet and she would be fine that they would help her through it in Boot Camp. I tried to point that out to her but she wanted to believe her recruiter.  I do not think it is right for them to do that. I think he should of been honest with her and told her this may not be right for her. She spent a lot of time energy and money traveling the 51/2 hour back and forth from Meps and testing.   I just feel he gave her false hope, now she has to deal with feeling like she failed.

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Permalink Reply by Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom on June 19, 2016 at 1:30pm

JoDean....Join our Ship 5 group for more information....Military life is simply not for everybody. She hasn't failed....just learned more about herself.....and that is OK !!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom on June 19, 2016 at 1:36pm

http://www.navydads.com/group/ship5formerlyship17

This group deals with separation and may help to answer some questions....

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Permalink Reply by JoDean on June 19, 2016 at 3:16pm

The sad part is I think she would of done great I think if she had the opportunity to just regroup for a minute and went back and started confidence training this week I think she would of been ok. She is very smart and in good physical condition, she would have served our country well. Thank you so  much for all the support.

Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom said:

JoDean.... our Ship 5 group for more information....Military life is simply not for everybody. She hasn't failed....just learned more about herself.....and that is OK !!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom on June 19, 2016 at 5:17pm

I'm sure that she would have...but at 19, it is a huge adjustment to military life! If there is anything at all that we can do to help, we are all here!

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Permalink Reply by Patrick J. Doherty on June 19, 2016 at 7:28pm

Hi JoDean:

My name is Pat Doherty - Michael's dad - I posted regarding Michael's journey in and out of Ship 5 two years ago.   I apologize that I am late to this thread.   Paul and others put it nicely when they remind us of your daughter's achievement - being at Great Lakes.    It may be too late......our son was able to return boot camp.....if that is your daughter's wish, perhaps there is an opportunity for her.   Best wishes to you and your family regardless of the outcome.   I apologize I did not respond sooner - just received emails today and had not logged in lately.   ~ Pat Doherty

JoDean said:

The sad part is I think she would of done great I think if she had the opportunity to just regroup for a minute and went back and started confidence training this week I think she would of been ok. She is very smart and in good physical condition, she would have served our country well. Thank you so  much for all the support.

Navy Dads Co-Admin Tom said:

JoDean.... our Ship 5 group for more information....Military life is simply not for everybody. She hasn't failed....just learned more about herself.....and that is OK !!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Kathy Wright on June 20, 2016 at 12:17am

Hi JoDean,
My son is in boot camp right now and I know it is tough for them. I am hoping that if your daughter wants to give it another try that she will . It sounds like the confidence building program is really good . I will be praying for her and that there will be a positive outcome . Kathy

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