6. The Boyfriend of a Girlfriend in the Navy: No One Said it Was Easy

I am finding some people confuse honesty with selfishness. When I say this I am not solely speaking about the reader.  The author is culpable in the same sense. Through much thought I have learned not all are cut from military cloth. Discerning this is the core function of boot camp. True these men and women are learning to become soldiers. The challenges they face test physical and mental capability, but those are not as important as the quality they truly test. They are testing commitment. Performing simple tasks under extreme pressure, the recruit and the institution are discovering whose heart is fully in it.

As a person with a loved one facing these trials, I am learning this is not a culture I fit well with. My experiences I am going through with the service have caused me to reevaluate my decision to be involved with a soldier. I have realized this through discussing the lifestyle with people I know that have served. I also consider the feedback from peoples experiences online.

A lot of discussion comes down to trust. I have never given my girlfriend drug tests every 2 weeks nor have I checked her criminal back ground. I also wouldn’t force her to take birth control. At one point she told me she didn’t want to take birth control any more so I went under the knife. That is a very permanent decision. Now the Military is putting her back on.

Out of high school I considered joining the US Coast Guard. I had a child on the way. I worked two jobs 7 days a week. I did not know what to do. When I learned about what I would sacrifice I chose to work the two jobs. I do not regret watching my child learn to walk and speak. I cherish that I was able to teach my child to ride a bicycle. I would have lost those things volunteering for the service.

That being said I find the feedback I am getting often comes from a narrow perspective. This concerns me. The advice is far from universal. Those that have read my past publications often don’t take into account my daughter is now a senior in high school.. What do I tell her if her, her boyfriend or another friend is considering the service? I think I will be honest. They have a lot to offer for a person her age. Its not easy and its not for everyone. Relationships will be difficult, and the individual will belong to the government. I believe these are truths I think everyone involved in the military understands.

I have learned the military is not for me. And any one in boot camp that thinks it will not be for them should realize it is the final hour to make that decision. When a recruit fails it is probably less likely a question of  physical strength or mental ability it is more likely a question in commitment.

To the parents and lovers out there I ask you this. Would you love your recruit any less for being honest and having to make that 2 minute phone call?

Don’t misunderstand me. We need people fighting for our country. And if our freedom was under threat Id be the first to grab any thing I could shoot and dig in. But I am not cut from military