Navy Dads

7 The Boyfriend of a Girlfriend in the Navy: Listening to a Society of Strangers


I realize my point of view may not be common among this community. Do I think I am in the right place? Yes. I am no different than many others on the edge of becoming part of the military family. New members are filled with questions. I have asked many of the same questions in the context of my own point of view. I know other people have the same concerns and we need a place to go to get answers from people that have been through it.


In my situation, the answers I have received have helped me understand the military offers certain things. None of what they have to offer I need, except Sailorette . I am learning most all people here are supportive and have useful insight. Supportive does not mean necessarily agreeing, but sharing their experience or addressing misassumptions. The rest lack manners and/or the ability to convey sensible thought. (lucky for you guys others are making up for you deficiency[Thank you for your support admins, Rob H. and others]).


Only after carefully studying, I don’t see the problem with being honest enough as a partner to say the military is not for me. That is not selfish, its facing reality. *If you don’t get that talk about it amongst your selves.*


Those of you joining the discussion late. This has not been a tirade. This has been an evolving learning experience for my self. And I believe if you listen to a few of my points there are pieces every on can learn from.


I have promised my recruit, I would support her decision, and wait for her. I am fulfilling this promise just as the rest of you have for your loved ones. It is dishonest for me to say I will continue to be here if Im not willing to be a part of the military. I have told her it is not too late. If she doesn’t make it I still love her, and I am here waiting. If she wants to continue that is her choice.


People here have posted their children have been sent home early. And the response of the board is that of condolence and sympathy. Why? If you reconsider it in a realistic way, the world is not over. They just didn’t fit in, in some way or another. Supporting your loved ones means supporting them if they succeed in the military or not.


Your probably thinking, how have I supported Sailorette? When she asked if she should go I said it was up to her. I did not stop her. When she wanted to fly 1500 miles to see her family before she left I took her. Now that she has been exposed to the service she can make a more informed decision. I am here for her.


I f you reply, try to do it without NAME CALLING. In other forums it may be fine, but here it is not productive dialogue. These posts are of my life and my personal feelings about a woman I love. If you feel the need, start a “these are the names I would like to call Mr. Sailorette” discussion board. I would be happy to engage in rhetoric there.


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Comment by NavyDads Co-Admin, Gary on October 14, 2011 at 12:05am

Theresa, Amen to that!...

Comment by Mr. Sailorette on October 13, 2011 at 11:35pm

Im here till she goes active. I cant live that relationship. Im not getting married till she is out. If she decides when school is done she wants more of the military that is her choice. 

Comment by Theresa on October 13, 2011 at 11:34pm

Everyone here loves their sailor/sailorette no matter if they make it or not. We all hope that our Sr's make it, but if they don't then we all know it's not the end. We are all here for them 100%, however, you only seem to be here waiting to see if she fails. You have stated numerous times that you don't wish to be an in-law to the Navy. You say you love her and will be there for her, yet again only if she fails. My question to you is how is that supportive? If you love her as much as you say you do shouldn't you be there for her no matter if she fails or makes it through boot camp? This is an extremely difficult time for her and I'm sure she doesn't need to be worrying about her relationship with you. Not everyone will make it through boot camp but if she is lucky to make it then show her how proud you are of her by being there for her. Since you have already told her the Navy is not for you then she has some things to seriously think over. 

Comment by Robert Hartman on October 13, 2011 at 11:29pm

Just make it to her PIR and go from there.

Comment by Mr. Sailorette on October 13, 2011 at 11:17pm

I can handle the harshest of language. I also believe I am creative enough to cleverly respond to personal attack.  When critisism is delivered that way it is hard to recognize it as credible. Which now makes the response awkward. 


An early post said something to the effect of "this maybe hard to here but it sounds like you have issues to deal with" I dont mind candid insightful response. I seek this balance and objectivity.


I am discovering people feel uncomfortable when people reveal their feeling and thoughts especially if they are unpopular, not necessarily uncommon, or unrealistic, just on popular. When you lay these out in a public forum that group ra ra mentality can reach a flash point quickly.


I did not see that quote and it seems like a good mantra to reflect on.


Another Khalil Gibran quote I have leaned on lately is below. Im not even sure it is relevant.  But to me it kinda just reminds me to "suck it up"


"Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity"


Again thank you.


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