I found no one online in my situation. I wrote the first handful of blogs and posted them on my own web site. I emailed someone I know that served a full career in the Army. His response was “keep writing.” So I did. I found this site and thought people here would have some knowledge and input into these thoughts, and feelings. I figured it would be therapeutic and the advice would be helpful. I am reasonably good at picking out advice even if its not right on the surface.
Did I know when I started what I know now? Absolutely not. Interacting with the experienced people here and others that have been through it, I learned as you well Know by now its not for me. I thought I could do the reserves. I thought it would be easy. I knew it would be an adjustment for me. I am learning it is not an adjustment but a complete change in your life.
Comments have been made if I don’t write positive letters someone could get hurt or killed. I don’t believe that for a minute. A more likely cause of an accident would be the yelling and berating for 20 hrs a day. Letters telling her the many reasons I miss her are not the problem. In fact I believe telling her if she cant do it, it would make my day to pick her up from the airport a couple weeks early should relax her. So the conclusion I have reached is that I will stay with her whole heartedly till A school is over. If she decides she would like to experience more of the military, that’s her decision.
We had planned on getting married a few time s before boot camp, but it just hadn’t happened. I will not get married if she is in the service. I am here for her, and its her decision. Not yours or mine. The only advice I ever sought was a little context, and insight into the culture